MHSA is seeking to raise awareness on cancer during the month of January through the “Catch it Early” campaign. This article is the second of a two part series, and it gives an overview of the 5 stages of cancer diagnosis acceptance, following the Kubler-Ross Model. It is important to note that these stages are not fixed, but rather they blend into one another. Further, one may be in different stages at the same time due to varying acceptance levels in different facets of life.
Stage 1 - Denial
Receiving a cancer diagnosis is not an easy pill to swallow. It is very common that one speculates about extrospective potential errors which may have led to the diagnosis. It is common to question whether the news received is correct and ruminate about the possibility of an error when scanning or inputting data.
One often experiences shock, where a high volume of emotions which are hard to process are perceived. The most common response in such a scenario is numbness, as it allows for functioning and a slow transition towards processing said emotions.
Stage 2 - Anger
Once the denial and shock start to fade, the healing process may start. During this stage the suppressed feelings begin to surface as one transitions from living in the preferred or hypothesised reality to the actual reality. This gives rise to the age old question “Why me?”, which in itself demonstrates progress towards the acceptance stage as the individual acknowledges having cancer.
The outlet for said emotions and frustration is most commonly anger. Often this is redirected towards friends and family, among higher beings and health professionals, as these are the entities with whom the individual is most comfortable with. Nonetheless, this dissipation of emotion will facilitate the transition to the next stage.
Stage 3 - Bargaining
In this stage the individual explores ways to manipulate their fate. Negotiations with a higher power are frequently attempted here; “If I make it through this, I will stop smoking”. Such attempts provide false hope to those diagnosed with cancer as unfortunately such bargaining does not change the diagnosis.
Introspective blame is also commonly seen through “What if ?” queries. These may provide a positive source of self reflection as there are always lessons to learn from previous errors. If in excess, they cause an oversaturation of thoughts, guilt, and worry. This may influence mood and mental health negatively, and ultimately lead to depression in the following stage.
Stage 4 - Depression
The switch from living in a hypothetical world of ifs and buts to living in the current reality of being diagnosed often presents poor mood. Decreased motivation levels, social withdrawal, hopelessness, and not wanting to get out of bed are often seen, as is feeling that the world is too overwhelming to face.
After processing the initial shock, expressing the suppressed emotions via anger, bargaining fate, and processing the depressive feelings and emotions one would be ready to progress to the final stage of acceptance.
Stage 5 - Acceptance
Acceptance is far more than accepting the fact one has cancer. Rather it is more about coming to terms with the fact that having cancer is the person’s new reality, further to being in a stable emotional state where one is at peace with the self, friends and family, and higher being, if any.
Good days and bad days are expected as they form part of the cycle of life, but the poor mood in the depressive stage subsides significantly. Motivation levels increase, social reintegration occurs, and most importantly hope is rekindled.
If you know someone who has cancer, whether a friend or family member you can help out! Although it is unlikely that said contribution cures the individual, providing support is key for optimal treatment. You can:
Provide a source of normality by keeping up fun activities you used to do, within health limitations.
Lend and ear when in need. Being equipped with the above information one should expect varying levels of frustration and hopelessness, sometimes listening to what the person has to say is all they need.
Communicate that you are available to listen and help, keeping in mind your own limitations.
Avoid pressuring as acceptance is a process and it takes time.
Encourage seeking professional help if needed.
Be present.
Written by: Malcolm Camilleri